Trip to Mexico, Part 2: “The Sex Hotel”

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(originally written 7/27/05)

We got to San Louis Potosi last night and we were looking for a hotel. The first one we saw coming into town looked WAY too fancy–stained glass front and a gated entrance is not exactly what we’re looking for in terms of just sleeping over for the night. The hassle was getting the equivalent of a true motel so I could back up the truck in front of a door on the 1st floor to unload the bed for the night and reload in the morning. All the hotels we were seeing (and some were ancient) were the classic enter-through-the-front style, not to mention we were trying to smuggle Lola into the room. Giving up while backtracking, I decided to just see how much the fancy hotel was.

I was shocked. Not only did it only cost us $30 for the night, but it had a private garage for my truck. In fact, the hotel room entered from the garage. The only other entrance was a service entrance into the garage for hotel staff. In fact, we didn’t even go to the office–we were buzzed in, instructed to go to #44, and a woman in a maid’s uniform met us there and did all the paperwork, etc. w/o my having to even leave my own room. The room was a dream–a suite w/a couch and coffee table w/raised bedroom, king size bed, central a/c (not a given in mexico, let me tell you), hardwood paneled floors, the works. We ordered Domino’s pizza and thanked God for our find. It was slowly unraveled to us what the probable value/use of this hotel was for.

In flipping channels on the TV (which was controlled by a panel on the wall next the bed, BTW, as were ALL room controls, suspiciously enough), Claudia found the Playboy channel. Ok, interesting, not really anything that makes me drop what I’m doing, especially after an exhausting day of travel. The next channel: hardcore porn. That’s right–full action XXX. Claudia was horrified; I was laughing my ass off. The “Venus” channel, as it was labeled, was the last channel on the lineup. Ironically, if you upped the channel one more, it would flip to channel 2, which was, of course, cartoons for children.

In the morning, we looked at the room service menu to get some coffee. It was then I found that not only could we get coffee and juice (which we did) for 10 pesos ($1) each, but for a mere 5 pesos more, you could get lube delivered to your room. The breakfast and lube of champions at your slippery fingertips. The pricing for the room was on the back of the menu and the fine print of the room price was the final piece to this puzzle:

• The hotel is on the outskirts of town
• It’s a gated entry with private garages for each room so no one needs to see your car
• Hardcore porn included with room
• Lube available “anonymously” through the serving window
• Room is priced in 8 hour increments

All this leads to the inevitalble conclusion that this is a sex hotel for one to covenitnely take a lover/mistress/etc. and be completely private throughout the entire affair. One more odd thing about this place: it had not a single trash can. One just leaves trash wherever–they’ll come pick it up. Apparently, general trash is the least of what these people probably find lying around when guests leave…