Mexico Medical Student |

I’m going to be a daddy! Our little girl will be introduced to the world in about 5 weeks. I always knew I’d post about it since it would be nearly impossible not to include here such a huge change in my life, but for several reasons, I just didn’t get around to it until now. I am becoming a little more forthcoming with personal details since I know I identify with other bloggers, anonymous or not, who share the details of their lives in a way that makes readers feel they are a part of their world. My world is about to be shaken substantially.

One reason I waited was because we lost our first baby last year in the first trimester before med school began. It was what’s called simply a “spontaneous abortion,” but such sterile clinical labels and explanations regarding statistics re:viability don’t help when it happens to you. I wanted to make sure this one “stuck” first and foremost. After it was pretty clear she wasn’t going anywhere, I was waiting for a good picture. She is her mother’s daughter (*ducking for dear life*) lollying about, kicking, rolling, etc. when she wanted to, but she never wanted to pose for good pictures or be “on” when the doctor/sonographer was taking notice. As such, it was always, “Well, next time we’ll get a good shot and I’ll post it.” Now at 35 weeks, she’s sitting up breech and facing backwards. She apparently likes the view of the posterior uterine wall for whatever reason. Maybe she put up some decorations there or that’s where the TV reception is best.

After 2.5 years of marriage, 9 months of medical school, who knows how many years and credit hours of undergraduate and graduate education, I can say wholeheartedly that I am woefully underqualified to being a parent. I think we all are with our first. I know I’ll be a good dad, but you always want “more time,” waiting for the perfect moment when all the finances are set, the house is bought, etc. That doesn’t even happen in the movies anymore, much less real life. True life for me, right or wrong, has been doing it the hard way against more odds than needed to be there, perhaps stubbornly, perhaps through bad luck, but getting the job done regardless.

Except this isn’t a “job,” or a goal–this is another life, my life, about to come into this world, helpless and full of unlimited possibilities. I’m scared, excited, proud, and a whole host of emotions all at the same time. I totally believe in sympathy pregnancy symptoms, since I’ve experienced weight gain, moodiness, odd cravings, unexplained pains, and every minor symptomatic oddity (save, perhaps, breast tenderness) in far greater frequency than when before Claudia was pregnant.

Medical Madhouse Madman (Doctor) had “Future Intern;” thankfully, she won’t be in my daughter’s graduating class, since I’m sure Doctor’s daughter already has the lock on valedictorian. I am wondering if I’m going to have “Future Biochemist” or “Future Concert Pianist,” or any number of roads I left behind in my not-so-distant past. Right now, “Future Daddy’s Girl” sounds pretty good to me.