Mexico Medical Student |

I promise this is my last post about anything having to do with my Grand Rounds’ hosting experience. I would have posted this last Thurs/Fri when it was most applicable, but I had a heinous neuroanatomy exam and surgery class early this last week, which given no sleep the night before, I spent the next couple of days recovering and fuming. This weekend, I’m back in the saddle. Here goes…

Not to be immodest, but I thought my GR was a great success. I got LOTS of good feedback, almost all positive, and some even gave me some private feedback on some things they thought could make it even better, and I took it to heart. It makes me feel good to not only get positive feedback, but also to give back to the blogging community that generously reads my writings and gives me some motivation to keep doing this in spite of my time constraints. So before I continue, let me thank all my regular readers and visitors from GR once again.

Unfortunately, not all my feedback was positive. Some was downright negative. You see, there are those that are affiliated (directly and indirectly) with my school who felt that in my bio writings (both here and especially in the Medscape pre-rounds article) 1) showed Mexican physicians in a negative light, 2) put down my school, and 3) in general, showed unprofessionalism by saying anything negative about the country in which I am currently living and the school I’m attending, since both are so graciously providing me with an education–an education, which they believe, I was not able to get in the states.

OK, so after fuming for a bit incredulously, I objectively looked at what I wrote and I have to say that, yes, there are things I said which were negative towards a minority of Mexican physicians and certain aspects of the Mexican medical system. I am not going to exhaustively quote paragraph-for-paragraph my writings here to justify my points; I totally assume my readers are astute and open-minded enough to draw their own conclusions, which I respect even if different from my own– provided they have some basis in reality or fact. It bothers the living shit out of me when people fire off at the mouth, assuming this or that incorrectly about something that was clearly not the case in my writings. When these people comment on things they didn’t bother to read–words that I spent a LOT of time carefully composing–it’s insulting, as it renders all that consideration wasted due to their laziness.

Let me quote some of the emails and comments that I’ve received (anonymously, out of respect for the authors since I did not get permission):

The statements about Mexican physicians and your professors are truly insulting. Respect for an instution that is giving you an education (excellent, good, or bad), despite all of it’s problems, [is a sign of professionalism]. Communicating experiences can be a very dangerous thing! Words that you think are benign can translate into very deep offences. The reality you see about Mexican Medical system is very narrow, you haven’t been exposed to its totallity, and what is sad is that you dare to make such a dangerous opinion about a system you don’t know at all.

Jeez, where to begin? The person that wrote this is someone who I respect a lot, seriously. However, as a Mexican physician, there are too many differences between us to see eye-to-eye that are ingrained on a cultural level. Culturally, it is much less acceptable here to question authority. Position and a title mean so much here, so much so, that our medical school has several departments of one person, just so they can have the commensurate title and respect among others in the department and/or medical school. People from the states, particularly those from the East coast and/or self-assured, type-A individuals such as myself, look at some of the “rules” and say, “Oh, HELL no.” It didn’t come through in the Medscape piece but it’s elsewhere on my blog that we as non-Mexicans attend UAG through the International Program which is 100% different from the “Latino” program for Mexican nationals. One the stark differences between med school in the US and in almost everywhere else in the world is that everywhere else, including Mexico, med students start at 18 right out of high school. Many professors, even though we tend to be separate because of English instruction, still have this holdover where they tend to forget we aren’t little kidlets that need to be reminded of this and that. After a while, it tends to be insulting, even for the 24-year-olds. Now imagine us 30-somethings who are married, had careers, own homes and cars before coming here, etc. and you’re going to tell me how and when I can use the bathroom? F*ck off.

I can write pages and pages of things that are bad about this school, but I choose not to, first and foremost not because of “honor,” but because it takes energy–negative energy–to be in a place to rant, bitch and vent all the time, and I’d rather use that energy elsewhere. I’m not always successful at putting things behind me, but trust me when I say that I censor myself A LOT when talking about my school. UAG would never, ever, ever, under the most generous of days meet the requirements for LCME certification, and the professors (speaking only about basic science curriculum for first 2 years), with a handful of exceptions, should be embarrassed how bad their class materials are…yellowed acetate transparencies that haven’t changed in 10 years, you know the kind. Some of the “most esteemed” of the professors offer no materials or at all, making you feel like you should be grateful they even give you their time. They spend the in-lecture time talking about the school itself, like we should be so lucky to attend “Guadalaharvard,” (my term, not theirs) or they simply talk about themselves and everything the school is doing to make our lives better. When they do teach, it often consists of drawing cartoons of anatomical or other figures as things randomly come into their mind, never to be seen again as the wipeboard or transparency machine is wiped clean.

But for those who think that I wield such power to affect public opinion on this school, I remind those (after avoiding my spitting coffee at the screen) that none of anything I said was offered to be anything but my own personal opinions and experiences. Anybody with half a brain reading this site would see I’m a 2nd year student, so I’m not exactly the voice of authority here. As the article states, “I tell it like it is”….to me, and only me. I did not “put down” UAG and I didn’t talk it up. I didn’t say living in Mexico was awesome, nor did I say it sucked. Mine was a dose of simple reality (from my perspective) and nothing more. I made a choice to come here–a choice I do not regret for a second–but until I get a paycheck from the university, I’m not obligated to speak favorably of the school regardless of circumstance. I am thankful for UAG giving me the opportunity to come to school here where other schools did not, but my debt to UAG is paid by doing well, graduating, and showing that yet another successful physician came out of here. But make no mistake–I pay good money for my education, it’s not on loan to me from the school; as such, I say what I want, when I want, how I want. Period.

Finally, to give another shining example of the kind of correspondence I get from the increased visibility of having had some of my work published, I offer this gem:

I would never write about how bad I feel because I am fat or how I dont like my own school. I am just not that kind of person that likes people to feel pity for me because I have problems relating to people, I smell bad or because I sweat too much. This is just “pathetic” my friend.

Yeah. Right. Give a kid an easy target (weight), and he’ll take it every time. Some maladjusted individuals even make things up in their frenzy (that, or I need to go take a shower :P). Folks, regardless of medical school, there are those who shouldn’t try to become physicians–this path isn’t for everyone. A warning to those American students struggling to get into US programs considering a foreign medical school: a foreign school *is* a viable alternative, but since you aren’t dealing with the “cream of the crop,” (witness the profound statements above), expect to deal with a lot of behaviors from people that you’d think you would have left behind in high school. Add to that, the culture clash of the country in which you go to school, and it’s can make for a stressful mix–all of which, unfortunately, detracts from studying and applying yourself to your task at hand. Be prepared.

In the end, however, for those of us that persevere, graduate and move on to successful residencies, no one will ever be able to question our hearts and the desire to become physicians.