Multi-Update II: Not protecting my school anymore, Part 1

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[ed note: Strike-throughs placed a week later due to new information not had at time of original posting]

I have no problem blogging as myself under my real name, and a few times, things I’ve written about the school have drawn fire from an associate/part-time prof, alums, or others irrelevant to my education. Especially indicative was the backlash to when I hosted Grand Rounds. As a general rule, however, I refrain from outright bashing my institution. I just stick to what I think I would want to remember however many years from now.

As of now, the gloves are officially off. I am staying true to my intent–I will only write about what I specifically have experienced and do it from my POV, but I am no longer “censoring” myself so as to not bring embarassment on the school or problems for myself. Why the musketeer-like glove-accross-the-face? Because my school has totally and completely screwed up my USMLE timing, which has a more-than-direct impact on my future. In other words, my school–the entity that should be nuturing, educating, and forming me as a physician, is and has been blocking my path for no other reason than grotesque laziness and ineptitude. Although it has not been intentional, the incompetent lack of communication, especially by secretaries who should never wield such power to affect our futures by their laziness, has left me no choice but to postpone my USMLE to an unknown date in the future with an unknown plan to prepare for it, given that it will mean juggling unrelated classes as well.

It all started with absences. As you’ve read here, I have had major events go on in my life this last year, specifically 6 months. Car accidents, wife w/knee surgery, having to go back to the states for a few other reasons, etc. all had an impact on my attendance. However, the attendance we’re talking about is Kaplan. Kaplan!! As in review. That I paid $2,000 for. (By the by, we only had 6 weeks of courses, yet we still paid our full $9,000+ of tuition before we had to shell out the 2K for Kaplan. Yes, I know the school paid for most of the course expense, but a chimp can see it doesn’t add up. Also, QBank/QReview was not included–we paid for that out of pocket). Never able to give up its obsessive need to control, our school recorded attendance hourly during this time. Like fucking children who needed a hall pass, if we were out of the room more than 10 minutes, it was an absence for the hour. Weren’t in your seat when the lecture began and attendance was recorded? Might as well sit outside and enjoy some sun for 55 minutes because you just got an absence. I am NOT. KIDDING.

So with all the problems of the semester, I racked up the 2nd highest number of absences in the class in raw-total absences, but I had already turned in justification letters to the “committee” (with quotes, because no one really knows what goes on or who attends) to decide my fate. Basically, they had already approved almost everything, and once one took into account the excused absences, the number dropped to a far more more reasonable level. The assistant dean, Dr. M., however, couldn’t wrap his head around the total number, stubbornly insisting that it was “too much.” I got called into his office just after the end of Kaplan, as most people are getting ready to leave for break. We just had our Kaplan final, a mock USMLE run-through, and I scored a 65% raw score (easily passing when converting to USMLE score)–more than enough to show that in spite of missed classes, I know what the hell I’m doing. I wasn’t expecting a cigar and a pat on the back, but was it enough to ameliorate the administrative bullshit at all? Of course not! The first meeting lasted 1.5 hours and was spent watching him exhaustively calculate every goddamn hour of this or that since Kaplan began, to finally arrive at the conclusion that yes, my absences were high, but once worked out, amounted to about the same as many other students who weren’t being disciplined, so leave me the fuck alone, thankyouverymuch. He said he’d go back to the “committee” and, I quote, “take care of it.”

Two days later, I’m in his office again and he says, “I’m sorry but the committee didn’t want to hear about your excellent performance in Kaplan, or your top-10% standing in the class, or any other positive comments professors had to say–they insisted that this was about Kaplan absences–period. Everything else was beside the point.” So much for “taking care of things,” eh? I won’t go into what is to happen now in detail because it’s still pending (and I have SOME sense of self-protection), but let’s just say it involves taking finals the school gives for class(es) I already passed–scored well in, even–months ago as pure punishment for absence. Let me repeat: I have to retake final(s) for class(es) THAT HAVE BEEN OVER FOR MONTHS, and the grade I get on said final(s) will replace the one(s) I already earned. For absences. I shit you not. Since one of these courses was systemic pathology, I thought, “Well, it’s a major USMLE topic; ok, I’ll do the song and dance,” but I was concerned about waiting until weeks from then for the school to certify my test. (Board tests need to be certified by a medical school; you can’t just walk in off the street and take them, no matter how smart you are) He said not to worry, he’d treat the USMLE and the stuff at UAG separately, and that such a sanction was really just to appease the committee and make things fair for the other students with high absences, because what would happen if they knew I got off scott free? (nevermind the documentation was there to justify the outcome…)

Now here’s the 1st part that chaps my ass, that made me take the gloves off. My application, which the school has had for weeks but was being held up because of all this absence bullshit, needed to be received by the ECFMG by the 25th of June. A couple of days prior “Friday Fedex Day,” I find out that they still haven’t certified my app. I called the lady responsible (“E.”) and she said that it was because I hadn’t taken those segundo (2nd-chance) final exams. I said that Dr. M. and I had an agreement, and that this can’t wait for that (the timing of those exams is posted when the semester begins). The conversation went like this:

Me: So can you check with Dr. M, please, because I know he’ll confirm what I’m saying.
E.: It’s not written here, so you need to go talk to him so he can tell me.
Me: (after days of meetings with Dr. M.) Let me get this straight. You want me to drive over there, to tell your boss’ boss’ boss, who is in the next office, to talk to you about this matter? [ignoring grossly reversed chain-of-command here] Why can’t you ask him yourself?!?
E.: It’s because he isn’t in right now.
Me: (speaking through clenched teeth) And what’s the problem with simply waiting until he’s back to go ask him, since your 10m away and I’m 10km away?
E.: Um, ok. Yeah. I can do that.

How much more fucking lazy can a person be? It is exactly this laziness, this ineptitude, this “mañana” syndrome that drives us American students–particularly in times of American deadlines (USMLE, financial aid loans, etc.) which are not flexible–almost to go postal. In the end, in spite of this, I was shocked to find out this last week (ie, days after the deadline), that Dr. M. didn’t approve the application and maintains we never had such an agreement. And of course, why didn’t I come see him right away? Because I have a life. Because my wife and child were in town for their final days and leaving. And because, with any time remaining, shouldn’t I be studying instead of constantly shuttling to meet “face to face” for things that should take <5 minutes? Shouldn’t you be making it easier for me to concentrate on my studies instead of being the #1 obstacle to my progress?

I won’t even go into honor or keeping one’s word. Let’s just say this matter is still unresolved, but until July 25th rolls around, it really doesn’t matter because the deadline has already passed. UAG has screwed up my USMLE timing, and now the entirety of my study drive, motivation, and focus has disappeared. I am in the middle of a foggy lake not knowing what to do.

All because of absences for a review course not even a part of this school’s curriculum that I paid out of pocket for.

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  By punchberry, July 1, 2007 @ 1:47 pm

  Enrico, I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just say THAT SUCKS. (Sometimes I really want to hear that and people give me advice instead.)

  Are you allowed to start 3rd year before taking Step 1? A couple of people in the class ahead of me decided to take Step 1 after Internal Med (always our first rotation), and they said it was helpful.
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  By kurt, July 2, 2007 @ 4:08 am

  Feel free to go a little further – surgical cases and new technology for your review at ideasforsurgery.com.

  Kurt
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  By Fat Doctor, July 2, 2007 @ 7:45 am

  I agree with Punchberry. That just sucks, plain and simple. Stay strong, man!
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  By Dr. Deb, July 3, 2007 @ 7:24 am

  I teach graduate level courses, and when a student has absences I *always* find out the reasons why. Recently, one of my students had more than the acceptable allowance of absences….but when I discovered what was going on, I was amazed that the student could even get to class, let alone get the great grades as well. Sometimes I think academia sacrifices humanity for perfection.

  I hope you can find your momentum….don’t let the academic insensitive thinking beat you down.
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  By enrico, July 4, 2007 @ 12:28 am

  Thanks for the supportive comments, everyone. (Except for kurt, who apparently wants to hawk his (admittedly interesting) surgical gear.)

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