Category: Computing/IT

Upgrade

I just upgraded my blog to Wordpress 2.3 from 2.2.1 (yes, I skipped 2.2.2). I kinda like things not to be broken, so I don’t run the “bleeding edge” builds (betas, RCs, etc.) but I did start using Subversion to manage the source tree so that I could do updates way easier. I am a dyed-in-the-wool user of CVS (no, that’s not the pharmacy chain) and using Subversion took a lot less getting used to than I thought, certainly from a client-only POV. The main thing I’m looking forward to in this release is native tagging. Yes, I know there have been plugins to do this, but I am glad I procrastinated, because now it’s something I don’t have to worry about converting. (who says procrastination doesn’t pay?!)

So, if things don’t work for whatever reason, let me know. Otherwise, things should be exactly how they were. I will be changing themes soon, mainly to take advantage of the new tagging and sidebar widget features. I’ve had this one for over a year and a half, and the reason you’ve seen it nowhere else but here is because it’s a horribly hacked copy of another theme. I’m a techno-geek, not a designer, so when I start blindly experimenting with CSS, black clouds loom overhead, birds fly out of the treetops, and that ominous foreboding of what visual havoc I may wreak fills the ether.

Luckily for all, I do all my tinkering on a dummy instance of Wordpress on my own computer. :) The disfigured alignments, twisted typefaces and ghastly graphics of my CSS carnage never leave my workstation. (Halloween is coming up–I’m just getting in the mood…heh.)

Here are some recent, helpful Wordpress links until my next post:

Musical blasphemy, for a good cause

One of my recent projects was coming up with some audio/music to use for my daughter’s sleep. White noise is ideal to block out unwanted din, especially living here in Mexico in a closed off gated community (coto) where everybody insists on living their lives outside. You can’t really tell the neighborhood to “shut up,” when it’s 8:00pm. In addition, most houses have no insulation of any kind, so just general noise from the outside such as cars driving by, a short honk, a delivery truck, etc. all have the potential to rouse our little Energizer bunny from the sleep that she naturally fights.

“No problem,” I thought to myself. I just needed a tool to “normalize” the audio so that the mostly classical music doesn’t have the all the dynamic range of the natural louds and softs. Right now, a median volume would mean that soft passages would be unhearable and louder passages (though musically appropriate) would potentially wake her up. Then, I thought, “Wait–I can’t be the only person to have needed this. Let me Google this…”

I could have sworn what I was going to use was a tool/plugin that does “normalization.” After beating my head against that wall for a few days with no good results, I found that what I was looking for is what’s called dynamic compression. “Compression” seemed totally the wrong word to me, because to compress is to remove redundant data to fit a smaller space (and “decompression” would fill it back in). But NOOOO–some crazy group of audio engineers decided to call a limiting of dynamic range–that narrowing the gap between the difference of louds and the softs–”compression.” That’s what radio stations have been doing for years so you can hear everything in car w/o having to ride the volume control, as well as giving extra “punch” to certain audio frequencies so you think one station sounds better even though they play the same recordings.

Jacking with the dynamic range of the latest “Arcade Fire” track is one thing, doing it to a symphony or a string quartet is something different. Classical music is the domain of serious audiophile engineers analyzing acoustics in concert halls, obsessing over the minutiae of different polymer tiles, their placement, etc. all to provide the best aural experience for a live performance. When recording, mics are placed strategically to capture the ambience of the hall, but also throughout the stage. You want to hear the crispness of a freshly rosined bow on a string, the collective breath before a horn section’s opening, the higher frequencies in the “blat” of a low-brass instrument. Trying to dampen these subtleties is blasphemy.

“Baby Einstien” sells 22 minutes of toybox-synthesized classical lullaby crap for $10 on iTunes Music Store. That’s a serious cash-cow; even pop CDs are at least 50 minutes or so. Even if I bought both volumes, that’s not even 45 minutes of non-repetitive music. It is, however, homogenous in terms of timbre and volume, which, along with clever marketing, is why it sells. I’d rather have my daughter listen to the real thing, but I also have a practical need here as well. So imagine my own self-loathing when I subjected many wonderful pieces to a transmogrifying audio laboratory like a Maestro Mengele, removing the artistry, audio quality, and individuality to make a homogenous, similar, and ultimately inferior final product.

I’ll give an example: the “Adagietto” movement from Gustav Mahler’s Fifth Symphony. People in the know will gasp, “You’re putting her to sleep with Mahler!??” because Mahler is known for wide variations in dynamic expression, extremely long symphonies (>100 minutes), very busy and thick scoring (over 120 members in the orchestra, plus a choir at times), and did I mention long symphonies? Relax–this is a slow movement that is scored simply for strings and harp. I even have the relevant excerpt from the score here to follow along for those that want to for the musical sections below:

Mahler-Symphony No.5 Iv-5

Note all the instructions Gus has provided above; the score is full of details, all about to be lost. This is the final 18 or so measures of the movement before heading into the buckle-your-seatbelts finale that comes immediately after. In this excerpt, 8 minutes into the movement, we go from quiet yearning to a final gushing emotional outpouring, to a complete fade to nothing. Gorgeous, heart-tugging, and although sublime, completely unworkable to put a child to sleep. Here is a picture of the original waveform in the audio editor (Apple Soundtrack Pro) and the playable excerpt below it:

Mahlerwaveform-Orig

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Now, the bastardized, compressed audio. Note that there is a lot of artifact bringing up the volume from the low-amplitude sections, which you can visually see in the following graphic. This is the price one pays:
Mahlerwaveform-Com

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Upon finishing compressing 2h of music selections, they were transferred to a minidisc set on “Repeat,” and applied that night. I happy to report it was an unqualified success. I met the dual objective of both blocking out more external noise and giving daughter something to listen to that she can carry with her, even if only subconsciously, as she grows older to appreciate it more. Part of me feels bad for blasphemy I’ve wrought (ok, I’m being a bit facetious here), but Claudia and I certainly get more quality time as daughter gets more sleep, so too bad. :)


P.S. Once unleashed, the compression monster can level anything in its path, rendering even unthinkably inappropriate selections even and unwavering. I’ve always joked to everyone I was going to inflict Soviet composers, such as Shostakovich, on her as soon as possible. I may do some personality damage if I start too early with things like this. LOL!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Halo 3

I want it. Badly. Of course, to play it, I’d need an XBox 360.

I want that too.

Secure Social Networks: A Possibility

This whole issue with Sermo has me hoppin’ mad. This story really came to a head last week, but I didn’t really pay attention to it as I’m not a physician and therefore don’t care about a site of which I can’t participate. However, I finally did read some articles about this and my jaw dropped. Here, an AMA-sanctioned site with $27M ($9M when they started) in venture capital money whose entire business model centers around having a secure, private community for physicians, does nothing except use public databases (as in [nearly] free) to “ensure” a physician is not misrepresenting his/her identity. Sermo’s website makes the claim that their authentication is done in “real-time.” To quote Alex Frost, a VP at Sermo:

One of the components of the system, and one of the powerful concepts in this being a safe community for interaction, is that we built a real-time authentication and credentialing system. If you are an MD, you can gain access to the system by answering a few challenge questions, and we will verify who you are.

This is so incorrect, it’s hard to know where to start. To use words like “authentication” and “credentialing” and not be referring to information tokens that due diligence would expect only that person to have, is misleading at best, outright lying at worst. When the festering abscess that is Sermo’s security model was cut open and exposed by Medgadget’s scalpel, “Sermaphrodites” circled the wagons to protect Sermo! Rather than the Sermo physicians appreciating this potential save to their community by forcing the issue to the forefront (and calling for Sermo’s CEO, Daniel Palestrant MD, to explain how this could be allowed to happen while sitting on so much money), they saw this intervention as a “how-to” for druggies to get DEA#s (news flash: this doesn’t affect the street wino any more than it affects the white-collar drug seeker who already knew this), calling Medgadget’s authors out and turning on their own. However, another blogger independently showed that Sermo could easily be penetrated by anyone, publishing the results. Yet there was no riot on this psychologist’s blog. Sermo physicians threatened to turn Medgadget authors in to their respective state medical boards (for what, publishing public information?!?) and called for advertisers to remove their support, making me wonder if the overly-strong reaction was as much about a fellow physician breaking the “good-ol-boy fraternity mentality” than what was actually disclosed.

This was a known issue (by Sermo’s own admission) and they did nothing about it. However, this post isn’t about the drama above. Unlike many of the flamethrowers and trolls out there, I actually have framework for a solution. I’m not an MBA or looking to quit medical school and form a company, so this has nothing to do with being anti-Sermo in concept. I am passionate about information security and how it relates secure electronic physician-patient communication. I couldn’t care less about Sermo as a company or a site; like I said above, why would I care about a site I can’t even join? I’ve joined these threads online because of a genuine interest in the underlying technology, and what I see in Sermo’s gross security mismanagement is a threat to physicians’ trust of its implementation and use.

Some background on me, I was all but ready to sit for my CISSP exam in information security when my father, who had end-stage liver disease, became continually and critically ill. I already had been accepted into medical school, but rather than work up until the day I’d leave, I decided instead to take those months and help family and my dad (who eventually–thank God–had a transplant and is doing quite well). In systems administration, I was one of the first Red Hat Certified Engineers (in fact, I took my exam on their Raleigh campus because they hadn’t even begun to outsource the exam yet) and have two Sun Solaris SA certifications. I only mention all of this to give readers an idea of my status as a serious computer professional. In my few attempts to discuss these matters on comment boards so far, people see “medical student,” and it screams out like a naive 20-something. I’m nothing of the sort, especially in this field.

What follows is going to be long and technical (I’ll do the best I can on making that as painless as possible), but it’s because some groundwork is necessary to understand key concepts first. You’ve been warned…if you’re still interested, let’s go!


PART I: Digital Signatures“Digital signatures” in the security world does not mean a scanned image of a paper signature. While this is, indeed “digital,” it is laughably easy to forge and offers no more guarantee than some jackhole running off with a physical, rubber signature stamp. A truly digitally signed document must meet some basic criteria:

1. The signer is indisputably involved. To properly sign a document/file/message digitally, intervention is required–namely a passphrase against a cryptographic key. Therefore, there is no “rubber stamping” in this arena, a la a nurse stamping a prescription pad or “verbal orders” that were allegedly never given.
2. The signer is indisputably who they claim to be. This is done by prior verification/escrow of the cryptographic key and the foreknowledge that the identity can not mathematically be forged. When the signature occurs, the exact time and date become part of the signature. Taken as a whole, #1 and #2 provide the principle of “non-repudiation,” or the inability of the signer to “back out” by saying they didn’t mean it or that it didn’t happen at the specified date/time, etc.
3. Document integrity. The contents are guaranteed to be tamper-proof–there is no retroactive changing of anything. The document as a whole undergoes a one-way hash algorithm, a fingerprint of sorts, and the alteration of single digit, character or space renders the hash invalid. To illustrate what I mean, the hash algorithm MD5, when applied to the text of the Preamble of the US Constitution returns “d16d01f300b43c68b720698bedd5b9e3

This computational output is a string of only 32 hexadecimal digits, so there is no way that I can take this short string and reconstruct the original, “We the People…” This is why it’s called a “one-way” hash. In fact, I can take the entire Constitution–the entire Library of Congress, even–and generate a similar, but different, unique hash. This is why I use a fingerprint analogy: you can’t extrapolate a fingerprint to a make a person, but the “mark” left behind definitely identifies where it came from. Change the document one iota and you change the fingerprint; have a different fingerprint in hand, and you know it was not from the same, unaltered document. This is essential.

PART II: Public Key Cryptography

Ever since there has been a need to keep information secret, there have been methods of doing so. Egyptians utilized a special staff where papyrus was rolled around its circumference, a message was written linearly, and other characters filled the gaps afterwards. If this papyrus was intercepted, it would be useless without the special staff which corresponded to the right helical turn length. Julius Caesar used a frameshifted alphabet, where A corresponded to, say N, B to O, C to P, etc. Unless you knew what the offset was, the message was gibberish. Of course, there’s the story of the “Enigma machine” of WWII, and now with fancy computers, the possibilities are endless–both to create new cryptosystems and to do “brute-force attacks” to break them. But that’s another book, actually.

The point here is all the examples above illustrate “symmetric key” encryption. The same “key” used to encrypt is the same key used to decrypt. The encrypted result can be iron-clad, but obtain the key and your done for. For example, if the other party got a hold of that Egyptian staff, all bets were off. So if securing the encrypting key is all-important, how do you encrypt things on the wild-west of the Internet without sending that all-important key over insecure lines? Enter public-key, or “asymmetric” cryptography.

Asymmetric keys mean that I have two keys–one public, one private–that were generated simultaneously and are mathematically, inextricably interconnected. The secret key says safe with me, but my public key can be broadcast anywhere. If someone wants to send an encrypted message to me, they don’t use some super-secret device, they use my PUBLIC key combined with their SECRET key, and the two make a message that we both can read. My secret key is safe and secured physically (my computer) and digitally (by passphrase). My public key, on the other hand, is downloadable and free for the world to use. If you tried viewing the key from the previous link, it is an example of what’s called “ciphertext,” or encrypted data transmitted by plain letters and numbers. This makes it platform neutral, easy to embed in email, chats, Sermo posts (oops, I’m foreshadowing…bad Rico!)

The two most common public key systems used for Internet communication are PGP (“Pretty Good Privacy”–now a commercial enterprise, but the founder, Phil Zimmerman started it all at MIT) and its freeware, open-source counterpart, GPG (“GNU Privacy Guard”). To see all of this in action before you get too lost in the background and theory, a digitally signed message is shown below. The original, as I wrote it, is the English text from “This” to “keyring;” everything that enveloped it above and below came from the signature process. This process here was simply invoking GPG to sign the text, and upon prompting me for my passphrase to unlock my secret key, GPG produced this output:

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA256

This is an example of a signed message.  Above, the hash
algorithm should be shown (SHA256) so that the recipient
can verify with that same algorithm that every character
in this message has arrived, unaltered. Moreover, although
you can't tell by the gibberish below, this is also digitally
signed with my private GPG key, and this is verifiable if
you have my public GPG key on your keyring.

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.6 (Darwin)

iD8DBQFHAAjdozJz1Dh2WKURCKu3AKDC2WQfSMxhhW382wsslrBDNiF+/QCfa026
4gPie5pNTyXN5RFMCDej3dA=
=7DOW
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

PART III: Web of Trust

All the PGP/GPG stuff is well and good except when you consider that the ID in the key is a name and email address–hardly something that can’t be forged. What prevents me from generating a keypair that corresponds to “George W. Bush <president@whitehouse.gov>” and sending/signing emails and messages pretending to be Dubya? Absolutely nothing. This is solved by a model called the “web of trust.” Let’s say there are two people, Bob and Alice (in security, it always is “Bob and Alice,” don’t ask) who know each other in real life. Bob can get Alice to “sign” his public key such that when others see his public key, they see Alice’s signature there, too. Alice agrees to sign only because she can attest that Bob really is who he says he is, and vice versa. When “Carol,” Alice’s friend, sends Bob a signed email, Bob has no idea if she’s really a friend of Alice’s. However, if he sees that Alice–a person whom he knows and trusts–has signed her key that was used for the email to Bob–Bob can reasonably assume that Carol’s idenitity is credible. If there are two people on Carol’s keychain that Bob personally knows (and also has their digital public keys), then Bob really has much better assurance of Carol’s identity.

Now, If the contents of the communication is “Hey, nice to meet you,” then all of this is rather silly. However, if the content of the communication has some request that requires a commitment of time, energy or money, then the bar is raised. Now let’s zoom to the present situation, and the communication is a physician requesting information on a patient. Now there’s a legal component to consider as well. The more people gather to voluntarily sign each other’s keys after verifying identity, the stronger this web becomes and the more it can be trusted.

The explosion of the internet “to the masses” is exactly what made this model fail. When the bulk of the Internet users were those affiliated with universities, colleges, the government and specialty technology companies, you had a select enough group to do this with. 10 years later, when disgruntled radicals, convicted felons, and my grandma all have broadband, the idea of “voluntary trust” among like-minded individuals is laughable.

PART IV: Of Triangles and Tradeoffs

The following graphic is the classic “security triangle” (there are many variations) that shows that you can’t have all three things at once completely:

Security Triangle

In order to make a system secure, it’s going to cost money and it’s going to have to have some hassle associated with it. Whether it’s having to remember passwords, carrying a swipe badge in the case of physical security, there’s a component of inconvenience–always. In order to make things secure but easier to use, you’re going to have to sink proportionally more money into it. Using the PGP vs. GPG example above, GPG is free, but using it is not intuitive. There are graphical “wrappers” and plugins for email/chat clients that allow one to mouse click this or that, but most are kludgy, and there is no consistent interface at all. PGP, on the other hand, uses 95% of the same underlying technology, but as a polished corporate product, it provides stable, reliable solutions ranging from personal software to enterprise tools to secure entire infrastructures. This obviously is not going to come cheap, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to use and deploy. Not being able to “have it all” is essential in managing both users’ and managers’ expectations regarding security solutions.

Sermo sacrificed security to make a system that was cheap and easy to use, or more to the point, easy to sign up. With all the VC money that Sermo had, this is inexcusable.

PART V: Wherein I actually get to the point

While the Web of Trust model above could not be sustained with the Internet at large, it works beautifully among a tight-knit community–like physicians on a social network! Doctors are a naturally suspicious, overly cautious, and a fiercely protective group. Especially if “signing one’s name” to something, physicians in these overly-litigious times understandably need a lot of reassurance. I say, “PERFECT!” What better self-policing model than to have that suspicion, that scrutiny to ensure a secure, physician-only social/medical network? The ever-present sentiment of “I went through hell-training, gave up 10 years after college for shit wages…” doesn’t lend itself well to being “spied” on by slimeball, used-car-salesman drug rep types posing as doctors to listen in on discussions and reporting back to their Mother Ship.

It’s self-policing in every way. Here, it doesn’t matter if you have MD, DO, PhD, PharmD, etc. after your name; it matters if you have other peoples’ digital signatures attached to your own. If some ‘newbie’ comes in and claims to be such-and-such and really doesn’t have much in the way of referring signed sigs, they’ll naturally be less trusted, perhaps not included into certain forums until they’re vouched for–just like it is in real life. In cyberspace, people have these disconnected expectations of human behavior, like some forum doesn’t treat them as one of their own after two postings, but here in “meatspace,” doesn’t it work the same way? You go to one or two meetings or the like by yourself, and you might get a lukewarm reception. You go with 2-3 “regulars” that introduce you to people, and you’re going to have a much different, much more rewarding, experience. If this is going to be a social network–a social network that needs to have the requisite security where members are truly vetted–then it’s going to have the same issues, concerns, and dynamics of ANY social network, as far as the people dynamic is concerned.

But let’s be honest. Sermo isn’t trying to create a social network for physicans, much less try to make it secure place any more than it needs to keep operational. Looking at the Sermo graphics and market propaganda, you’d think it was trying to make Facebook for physicians. The real point of Sermo is to make money for its stakeholders, which it’s poised to do, hand over fist. Sermo’s free membership and ad-free content is paid for by revenue from “clients” who will pay to either monitor discussions in nonspecific fashion for a subscription fee or pay a large sum to have a question put out there, (eg. Merck asks, “If Vioxx were to come back on the market, would you prescribe it?” — Sermo just made $50,000 for a yes/no poll). Sermo claims that it only shares aggregate data and that no personally identifying information is shared with third parties, but how much can you trust a company that already has shown such disgustingly lax security practices?

Everything I’ve outlined above is a framework, a skeleton on which one can lay a foundation for a better, more secure way of communicating. Sermo could have and still can implement any of this at any time. I used PGP/GPG as examples only; there are many implementations of the cryptographic and security principles that lie behind these. I say build a new network, one that from the ground-up is a collaborative effort of physicians, not the money-making vision of a single physician. Build a network that is truly socially policed, where members are vetted according to agreed-upon standards, where discussion can take place in appropriate forums with reasonable assurance that the information will not be shared by others in any fashion, aggregate or not. The security technology is there to use however desired. It can be a zero cost solution with a steeper learning/usage curve or a paid-for solution to make life easier for everyone; the community will decide what’s best. Build a social network that is based on a meritocracy where members that give the most get the most decision-making authority, rather than a autocracy that doles out $75 to a poor resident for answering a poll question that Big Pharma paid tens of thousands for. Have complete transparency in business practices, privacy statements, etc.

Just don’t build another Sermo.

Hello from “The Ranch”

I’m back in Tex-ass, and as usual, it’s been a craaazy transition back to the USA.  “The Ranch,” by the way, is the term of semi-endearment for my in-law’s house in a small city on the Rio Grande River. It used to be far removed from most vestiges of civilization, but the little town is economically booming to the point where it’s more and more doable to stay for extended periods of time with the new stores, restaurants, etc.

Regarding the trip back, it was nice spending time w/Claudia alone. We had a flat tire 3 hours into our trip and the densest fog I’ve ever seen about 3 hours from the border in the mountains outside Monterrey, NL.  By the time we crossed into the US–4 hours late after a 16+ hour trip–I gotta say: Mexico never looked so good than in the rear-view mirror. It’s precisely for this reason that I shock myself when I admit that a part of me wants to go back.  I hate calling myself a homebody, but the truth is that I need my own private space, a refuge, a Bat Cavetm if you will, to be happy and collect my thoughts to not feel so scattered.  Most classmates, being of the younger, 20-something variety, make the transition home with ease, sinking back in their old, comfy bed with their rooms just as they left them.  Others may have moved out some time ago, but being single, they find a good spot in the house and call it theirs.

Married with a kid sharing a bedroom for almost a month with nowhere else to go in the house except to commune with the parental units?  Pass the Xanax, please.  Add to that the fact that we have to share time with both sides, and packing baby gear every time gets, um….old.  Simple checks like ”Honey? Did you remember to bring the Orajel for her gums?” quickly turn into “What the hell do I have to do, tattoo ‘ORAFUCKINGJEL’ on my forehead?!  The crying and 3 fingers in her mouth wasn’t enough of a reminder?!?”  Of course, I exaggerate (mostly) but you get the idea.

Internet connectivity has been spotty because of all the moving around and no wireless at either house, so I haven’t written on the blog and was in email read-only mode for the most part. If you’ve sent me email, you’ll get a reply shortly.  Otherwise, as soon as I get my RSS reader on my laptop updated with my .ompl files from my desktop which stayed in Mexico, I’ll be back commenting on the blogs.

P.S.  If anybody has any suggestions for offline newsreaders for Windows (ick), I’d appreciate the help.  Bloglines and other excellent online aggregators don’t help with the spotty connectivity I have here.  Danke.

Two new black holes (belatedly) discovered

This is true–although their existence has been known for some time now, the data is finally confirmed that these two entities are indeed black holes, the most powerful physical phenomenon in the known universe. The gravitational force exerted by a black hole is so massive, that not even light traveling at velocity of over 186,000 miles per second can escape. The two entities are currently named MySpace and YouTube. If light can’t even escape, imagine the crushing power exerted on one’s time!

But seriously, I have enjoyed YouTube ever since it came out, but like most people, only to watch little ditties people forward me and get a good laugh. I had no idea that there were soap operas and all sorts of things broadcast via people’s webcams–like I care about the dating life of some chick who’s known only as “T1f4nny.” Please. However, I discovered a phenomenal thing that has been sucking up all my time recently–vintage classical music videos and other rare performances. (yes, this is where you guffaw mercilessly at my geekiness) I’m talking rare footage from the 50s or 60s of Sviatoslav Richter, Emil Gilels, or David Oistrakh not previously seen outside the (then) Soviet Union or, on the other side of the spectrum, pristine (as much as YouTube can handle) footage from a live concert in Japan last year of Arcadi Volodos from someone’s camcorder. 99% of you have no idea who these people are, and that’s OK–trust me when I tell you that these are giants of their respective instruments (and yes, they are all Russian, but that’s usually the way I roll, musically).

To see what I mean, go here to watch a clip of Volodos from somebody’s frickin’ living room for crying out loud, playing Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” from A Midsummer Nights’ Dream (arranged by Vladimir Horowitz and Volodos). All those words will mean nothing once you hear the first few notes, but please keep watching at least past 1:20 because that’s when the fireworks start. Now what kind of chance would I ever have had to see Arcadi Volodos in the first place much less be privvy to a private performance?! Thank you Internet, thank you YouTube.

As for MySpace, up until a few weeks ago, all I knew of it was “where the kids hang out online” and that it was always associated with various pedophile scandals since, obviously, that’s where the “kids” hang out. After hearing enough comments from some people in class about what they read, I finally logged in expecting to see nothing but teenage crap. Oh. My. God. 1/4 of the planet has a profile on MySpace, and now I do too (which is pretty irrelevant considering I never go there, but you need to create one to see much of anything). I think perhaps HALF of my medical school class actively maintain their MySpace profile, and within a week of signing up, I got a random email from a person who went to my high school asking if I remembered him (I didn’t). I had no idea so many “older” folks actively frequent MySpace. I have enough problems keeping up with blogging and emailing, so I’ll leave the MySpace to others, but from what time I did spend on there, it was obvious it had complete “black hole” status, following so-and-so’s friends, comments, etc. It’s similar to blogging in a kind of LiveJournal or Blogger way in it is a pre-built community, but SOOO much deeper and bigger. And far more hideous. I swear people’s MySpace profiles look like a scary glimpse into a schizophrenic mind.

As much as finding/following profiles of pathetic pop star wannabes on MySpace is loads of fun, I’ll stick with YouTube.

Requiem for an iPod

My iPod croaked on the trip back. That’s why I hadn’t posted last week–I was too despondent. Just kidding. I don’t know what happened to it, honestly. I never dropped it (recently), never spilled anything on it, and never subjected it to wild temperature variations (such as leaving it in the car in 105 degree heat). I noticed something was awry when I kept selecting a track and it would play something later in the playlist. Looking closer, I noticed it was actively skipping 5 or so tracks, counting (4 of 25, 5 of 25, etc) past the “bad” tracks. An hour or so later, all I heard was this “click click” as I tried to get it to respond to anything.

When I hooked it up to my Mac when I finally got home, I thought I’d just reformat the thing with the iPod update software, and start from scratch. This is the result:
iPod Dead (the gray of the iPod is actually an iSkin case)

Looking at Apple’s store, the only full-size iPod sold is a video iPod. Thing is, before baby was born and we were shopping for baby gear, I’d always joke that baby needed a video iPod (for visual and spatial development, of course!) and that it should have gone on the baby shower registry. Now, if I am to replace this one, I’ll actually have to get a video model (a review of my post on my iTunes library would make one realize a Nano or my wife’s Mini is cruel and unusual punishment), which makes me feel somewhat guilty.

Decisions, decisions…nothing is being bought anyway until my loans come in, and perhaps not even then. Until then, I can dream….with no sound….

Update: I called an authorized Apple reseller here in Guadalajara about the prices for the iPods, possibly avoiding an international shipment when/if the time ever came to get a new one. The 30G was $420 and the 60G was almost $600!!!  I know things like this get charged import taxes upon coming into Mexico, but not 30%!!  Crazy!

Analyze this

On my TabletPC, I downloaded a little “powertoy” that does a handwriting analysis based on a penned phrase. I was honest; I did not change my writing at all, but I did have to rewrite the sentence twice because my writing was so bad it couldn’t “find” a particular word.

I know my handwriting is not the best and I know that doctors get all sorts of [deserved] holy hell for their writing, but I think I can help assure some of the non-medical readers that, at least in my case, medical school didn’t ruin my writing–it was already that way.

Tablet Handwriting


That said, I kind of like my handwriting, when it’s as legible as you see here. Most of the time, unfortunately, I have to go “huh?” when looking at my own paper notes. My biggest, #1 problem is that I have a tendency to write smaller and smaller to (I suppose) economize time. The TabletPC forces you to write larger, since miniscule wiggles of the stylus pen won’t exactly cut it on the screen, so while Niels and others feel strongly that TabletPCs are bad for medical education, more many, many reasons, I like having mine.

So here is the report [with my comments]:

Handwriting Analysis Tool for Tablet PC Results

Attitude
You have a neutral attitude about your future. You neither procrastinate nor hurry. You enjoy physical and hands-on activities.

Mental Abilty
You learn slowly, by repetition. You begin with the most fundamental parts, skip nothing, and do not jump around. [This is so wrong it's laughable. I think everyone learns best by repetition, but I most often learn on the run, am a quick learner, and usually am way ahead of the curve at understanding new concepts. My problem lies with the lack of focused discipline to cement it into place upstairs rather than simply understand it for the moment.] You make decisions very carefully. [True dat]

Communication
You keep your inner-most thoughts to yourself. However, you enjoy discussions and are receptive to other opinions. You can be deceitful to yourself. [I keep secrets from myself? Do I have MPD? Of course not. Yes, you do, shut up. No, you shut up...]

Goals
You set ambitious, long term goals, though sometimes vague. Fortunately, you have strong will-power, enthusiasm, endurance, and self-confidence, helping you to achieve those goals. [I'm in Mexico trying to be a doctor in my 30s while married and now having a kid...I think at least part of this is correct, except I definitely need more will-power.]

Self Image
You are confident and self-assured, and resultantly set ambitious, long-term goals. However, you are also sensitive to criticism and need approval.

Emotional
You are a cautious person who thinks carefully before acting. You keep feelings inside and do not express them openly, in order to protect yourself. However, you can be empathetic and sympathetic, and forgive and forget quickly. [I think anyone in class can tell you that I have no problem expressing myself. However, I am definitely sensitive to others' feelings, wondering if I upset someone, etc. by perhaps saying too much.]

Social Skills
You are a solitary person, and desire to work alone, and be alone most of the time. However, you do feel isolated sometimes. [Dead on. See my previous post about groups.]

Anyway, not bad for a little toy program. After seeing my scrawl, what comes to your mind (other than institutionalization :) )?

Photos are working again

Just to let y’all know that I have enough photos uploaded to re-share with everyone. The “Photos” link at the top is now enabled, but you can just go here, too.

The URL might change (I can’t get the Gallery software to behave to change paths/domains w/o breaking links), but I’d update the links on the page(s) anyway. Benzo.org was and is the original name of the site, so if you see that in the title bar, it’s still me.

Enjoy!

Travel, exhaustion

We’re about to leave back to the states for 10 days or so. I meant to write sooner, but I had a physio test on Friday, then I was going to take Sat to relax and pack like a sane person, when Friday late night my desktop computer died. I finally narrowed it down to a corrputed main hard disk, but the hassle of dealing with that all day Saturday, if only to get the most basic of files off the system for the trip (something you just kinda take for granted), backup what I could, etc. I’ll just have to deal with it when I get back (I’m writing from my laptop).

I got little sleep the night before the exam, got woken up early by the God-forsaken trash men with their infernal bells (more on that in the near future as I put together an “Annoyances” page), and now I’ve slept zero. Zilch. With a 12-13 hr drive ahead of me, I’m going to be very unpleasant until tomorrow morning. Provided that I stress I am not to be bothered for any reason whatsoever to my parental units, I should be a lot better by Monday morning. It’s between now and then that I worry about.

Until late Monday or Tuesday, depending…

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